


Beyond the Door

by jackabelle73



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet, F/M, Gen, The Dream Realm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 07:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14232033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackabelle73/pseuds/jackabelle73
Summary: Rumplestiltskin finds out that his son Gideon may still be able to access the Dream Realm, and that presents an opportunity that he can't ignore.





	Beyond the Door

“May I have syrup, please?” Gideon asked, as he eyed the pancakes on his plate with obvious anticipation. He reached for the small pitcher when Belle brought it over, but she held it out of his reach.

“Uh-uh. I think I’ll pour, since you have the typical five-year-old’s sense of moderation.”

He pouted but didn’t dare disagree. The one time he’d argued a little too vehemently for his right to pour his own syrup – then promptly drowned his plate in it – he’d had his pancakes taken away and a breakfast of whole wheat toast and mixed fruit presented to him instead. He sat, hands in his lap and patiently waiting, while Belle drizzled a modest amount of syrup over his pancakes.

“Thank you, Mommy.” He was the image of good manners as he picked up his fork.  

Rumple chuckled as he poured Belle’s tea, then his own. “Wise choice, my son.”

“Did you sleep well, sweetheart?” Belle asked as she took her seat.

He hummed an affirmative around his mouthful, then swallowed before announcing, “I played hide-and-seek with Bae.”

“You had another dream about your brother?” Rumple asked.

It wasn’t the first time that Gideon had mentioned seeing Bae in his dreams. He’d first started talking about it a year ago, but given his limited language skills till then, they’d wondered if had been going on longer and he didn’t have the vocabulary to tell them.

“Not just a dream,” Gideon mumbled around his mouthful of pancake. Syrup dribbled down his chin.

Rumple paused, the sugar bowl suspended in midair. “What do you mean, Son? If it wasn’t a dream, what was it?”

Gideon shrugged. “Dream, but different.”

Belle tried a different approach. “Are you sure you were asleep? And not awake and using your imagination? We know you have a wonderful imagination, darling.”

“Uh-uh. Real,” he said with an emphatic nod.

“Do you… see Bae  _every_  night in your dreams?” Rumple asked, careful of his questions now because what they’d dismissed as childish inflation of dreams into reality, now sounded like something different.

“No. But if I want to play, I call him and he’s there.”

Rumple looked at Belle across the table, neither of them knowing quite what to say to that. Belle broke eye contact first, turning back to their baby with a bright smile.

“So tell us all about your playdate with Bae. Who won at hide-and-seek?”

“I did!” he crowed proudly. “Bae’s not very good at it.”

“Son, when you see Bae, do you talk about things?”

“Yeah. He always wants to talk before we play. I just want to play.”

“What do you talk about?”

Gideon rolled his eyes. “He says be good. He said hi, and….” His brow creased in thought. “He said it okay about the portal,” he said slowly, as if he’d memorized the words. His face scrunched. “What that mean?”

Rumple was incapable of speech, so Belle answered for him. “Your father lost your brother in a portal, a long time ago. But he found him again.”

“Oh.” Unconcerned with the past, Gideon shoved another large bite of pancakes in his mouth. “Can we go to the park today?”

“Maybe,” Belle answered brightly. “Why don’t we finish breakfast first, and then we’ll talk about it.”

After wiping the worst of the stickiness off their son, Belle sent him to his room to get dressed, admonishing him to remember that it was autumn in Maine and no, shorts and a tank top paired with sandals were no longer weather-appropriate.

Rumple stared after his son, still not sure what to think. He was grateful when Belle’s arms came around his waist and pulled him close, offering support.

“I’ve never heard of anything like that before,” he murmured into her hair.

“There’s never been a child like him before,” she reminded him. “Do you think he’s really seeing Bae in his dreams?”

He shrugged. “We had conversations with him in the dream world before he was even born. What’s to say that he didn’t keep some sort of ability to travel in that realm?”

“But you said Bae had moved on, right? How can he be in the dream world?”

“Emma said he had moved on, when she saw him in the Underworld. I…never saw him. He chose to make contact with her, not me.” He made no attempt to hide the hurt in his voice. “But the dream realm is a plane between life and death, between asleep and awake…. perhaps the dead can visit it when they want, just as the living visit it in dreams.”

“You’re going to try to see him, aren’t you?” Clear blue eyes studied him. “You’re going to follow Gideon into his dreams. Don’t think I don’t know about the Sands of Morpheus that you brought back from the temple. It’s been in the back of the locked cabinet in the shop for years.”

“Would that be a bad thing for me to do? To use my second son to communicate with my first?”

She shook her head. “As the mother of your second son, and a friend of your first… I support the idea. But if you have any doubts, why don’t you just ask Gideon if he’s okay with it?”

A clatter on the stairs announced the return of the young boy in question, dressed now in jeans and a tank top featuring a dinosaur. The state of his hair announced that he forgot to comb it.

Rumple could almost feel Belle’s sigh as she turned and saw him.

“Let me,” he told her. “You go on up and get yourself ready. I want to talk to Gideon anyway.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Good luck.”

“Come here, m’boy.” He pointed to the couch as he retrieved Gideon’s comb with a thought. “Something needs to be done about this before we can go out.” He sat the small boy between his knees and began to carefully comb the fine hair into some semblance of order. “Gideon… has Bae ever mentioned wanting to see me?”

“Yeah… he said he wished you could be there too.”

“What if there were a way that I could follow you into your dream? And go with you to see Bae? Would that be all right with you?”

“I guess,” Gideon replied after a moment, but he sounded uncertain.

Rumple set the comb down and lifted the small boy, turning him around to sit on his lap so they could talk face-to-face.

“Do you not want me to go with you?” he asked. “Your dream world is a private place, and it’s okay if you don’t want to share it with me.”

“I can share!” Gideon said quickly. “I’m good at sharing. Miss Nolan says so. I shared my crayons with Neal yesterday!”

“Yes, you are good at sharing. So why do you sound like you don’t want me to go with you to see Bae?”

“You can come. It’s just…when we play tag, we run really fast. Do you think you can keep up?” He looked so earnestly concerned that Rumple was hard-pressed not to laugh.  

“I’ll try my best,” he promised.

It took all the patience Rumple possessed to wait till Gideon’s bedtime that evening so he could try using the sands to enter his dream with him. A part of him was tempted to use magic to help him take an afternoon nap, but he knew better than to suggest it. For one, Belle would never go for it. Gideon had given up his afternoon nap two years ago, and at this point, if he took one by accident they had a difficult time getting him to sleep in the evening. Belle was supportive of his desire to visit Bae, but  _nothing_  justified disrupting Gideon’s sleep schedule. He also wasn’t sure if artificial sleep – one caused by magic – would lead Gideon to the dream world in the same way that natural sleep would. With all his centuries of experience, this was uncharted territory for him.

The time came, finally. They went through Gideon’s usual bedtime routine of bath and pajamas and stories, and the inevitable begging for one more story and the last-minute trip to the bathroom because he had to pee, really. But as usual, after indulging his delay tactics for a bit, Belle firmly said that it was time for him to stay in bed and close his eyes. She turned on the soft classical music that he slept with every night, and turned off the lamps, leaving only his Winnie the Pooh nightlight to save the room from absolute darkness.

She pulled a chair up next to the toddler bed as Rumple climbed in with their son to lie down with him. They’d discussed the best way to handle this earlier today, and talked to Gideon about it over dinner, so he’d know what to expect.

“Are we gonna go see Bae now, Papa?” Gideon asked, snuggling up to his father’s chest. He yawned.

“Yes, m’boy.” He placed one arm under his son’s head to act as a pillow. “If you’re still willing to take me with you. But you have to go to sleep first.” He stroked Gideon’s back in slow, soothing circles, looking at Belle over their son’s head in the dim glow.

She smiled back, and pressed her fingertips to her lips before blowing a kiss to him….one last silent good luck that wouldn’t interrupt Gideon from falling asleep. She held the small bottle with the sands of Morpheus, ready to sprinkle it over them when it was time.

A short time later, the small body had gone lax against him and Rumple nodded to Belle. He could see her take a breath as she uncorked the bottle.

“Tell him I said hello,” she whispered, and he nodded, then closed his eyes and felt the magic settle over him. There was a disorienting feeling of disembodiment, which he’d only felt twice before, when he followed Belle into her dream world and again when he needed to communicate with adult Gideon. He resisted the impulse to fight it, instead letting himself fall. Magic only worked if one surrendered to it.

A moment of white light, blinding him even though he knew his eyes were closed… and then it faded and he opened them. He was holding Gideon’s hand and standing at the edge of… an amusement park? A playground? A waterpark? A kindergartner’s dream food court? All of the above, he decided, scanning the scene before him. Actually, it reminded him of Pleasure Island, which was disturbing. But there were no other children here, nor adults manning the rides, and not a single donkey in sight. That was a relief.

“So this is where you come in your dreams?” he asked his small son, who was dressed in his favorite shorts and t-shirt from when he was three years old. He’d outgrown them long ago, but apparently in they still fit here. His feet were bare, and Rumple found himself automatically checking the ground for anything sharp that Gideon might cut his feet on…before reminding himself that this was a dream. His boy couldn’t get hurt here. He glanced down, checking his own clothes, to find he was still in his silk pajamas. Apparently, changing Papa’s clothes wasn’t a priority.

“C’mon, Papa! Let’s play!” Gideon took off for the closest slide, which was taller and steeper than any safety code in the real world would ever allow. He scrambled up the ladder almost before Rumple could get his feet to move, and threw himself face-first down the slide on his stomach. Without thinking, Rumple threw his hand out to cushion his landing with magic….and realized his magic wasn’t working. He expected to see his precious boy crash into the hard-packed dirt of the playground; instead he landed with a happy shriek in a huge container filled with pea-sized, brightly colored balls, which hadn’t been there before. He went under entirely, the rainbow of spheres closing over his head, but Rumple was getting better at controlling his knee-jerk reaction that his son was in danger here. He obviously wasn’t. Rumple strolled over casually and was peeking over the wall of the pit when Gideon’s head popped up and he swam – there was no other word for it – toward his papa. He reached a hand in to pull him out, noting that his mouth was full and his jaws busy at work.

“Are you eating this?” he asked, scooping up a handful.

“Uh-huh.” Gideon opened his mouth to give him a view of a red, blue, green, and orange stained tongue, along with the half-chewed candy. For candy it obviously was. Rumple threw a red one in his own mouth and was rewarded with a sweet and slightly sour taste.

“Let’s not tell your mum about this, hmm?”

“Okay. Do you want to ride the Ferris Wheel?” Gideon turned to run off in that direction, but Rumple caught him.

“Hold on… this place looks like… um, a lot of fun.” He tried to sound as sincere as he could. This was Gideon’s dream world and obviously a five-year-old’s paradise. It wasn’t his place to judge, even if the parent in him was cringing at everything he saw. “I want to see everything, but we came here to meet Bae. Remember?”

“Oh, right.” Gideon truly had forgotten, and Rumple felt a little twist inside at the realization. To Gideon, Bae was someone he’d known from pictures and stories his whole life, and apparently his dream world playmate for an unknown amount of time. It wasn’t in his life experience to know the pain of losing a loved one. “Stay here, Papa! I’ll call him for you!”

Off he dashed again, and Rumple followed because dream or not, he didn’t take orders from his five-year-old. Past the slide and across a section of ground that featured jets of water shooting up at random intervals, because why not, he supposed. He made it across and stopped to wipe the water out of his eyes. His pajamas were now wet and clinging to him.

Gideon was halfway up a thick rope that hung suspended from nowhere, climbing as efficiently as any monkey. At a point that had to be at least thirty feet above Rumple’s head, Gideon swung off the rope and onto a small platform that appeared. A large bell-shaped sculpture stood there, ending in a tapered tube. Gideon put his mouth to the narrow end and yelled into it.

“Bae! Bae! Come quick! Papa wants to see you!”

The sound amplified and carried across the grounds, echoing off the swings, the roller coaster, skipping across the surface of the swimming pool.

Rumple turned to say thank you, and the words caught in his throat as Gideon jumped from his perch.  _It’s not real it’s not real it’s not real_ , he chanted to himself as his boy fell through the air… then landed on a trampoline that threw him back up at least a dozen feet high. Gideon’s screams of joy were snatched one way, then another, as he turned his body in a flip. One rotation, two, three, before his bare feet hit the trampoline again and he rebounded, though not as high this time.

“Are you watching, Papa? Did you see me flip?” Gideon called out to him between panting breaths.

“I’m watching,” he assured him.

“He chose the fun park today, I see.”

At the familiar voice behind him, that voice that he’d gone without hearing for so many years, that voice that he’d last heard in the middle of Storybrooke Forest, the day his heart broke… Rumple went still.

“Is it really you, Bae?” he whispered, afraid to turn around. Afraid that this was nothing more than an illusion within a dream, that his precious firstborn son would disappear the moment he looked.

“Yeah, it’s me. I heard my kid brother call, so I’m here. You can look, Papa.”

Heart thudding, he turned….and there he was. His boy, in the same jeans and jacket he’d been wearing when he died. His brown eyes crinkled as he held out his hands in a ‘well?’ gesture. And Rumple didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He chose laughter, chuckling in a way that he hadn’t in ages. He loved the life he had now. He loved Belle, and Gideon, and if asked he would say that he couldn’t possibly want anything else… except the man in front of him now, alive and whole and a part of their happy little family.

They fell into each other’s arms, still laughing uncontrollably, and damn if Bae didn’t feel real in his arms. He even smelled like the adult Bae that he’d come to know in Storybrooke, which told him that the son he embraced right now was not simply a figment of his other son’s dream, for Gideon had no way of knowing how his older brother smelled. This was, somehow and unbelievably, Bae.

A small weight crashed into their legs, making them stagger. “Bae! You’re here!” Gideon beamed up at them, his arms outstretched toward his brother. “Up! Wanna airplane!”

“Sure thing, squirt.” Bae winked at Rumple before lifting Gideon easily over his head and with one hand on his chest, the other gripping a leg, ‘flew’ the small boy over his head. Gideon stretched his arms out, making engine sounds and calling out the occasional command.

“That way, Bae! Uh-oh, we’re hitting tub-lunce! Time to land!”

There were tears in Rumple’s eyes when Bae eased Gideon to the ground. He never thought he would see his two sons together like this, and his heart swelled to bursting.

“What do we show Papa next, Bae?”

“Hmm… you know what, I think he might like to see how good you are at rock climbing.”

“Oh, good idea!! C’mon!” He was tugging on their hands. Bae knelt down to his level.

“You know what, why don’t you run ahead and get chalked up? We’ll follow after you and get there just in time for you to show Papa what you can really do.”

“Okay… but you hafta show him where it is. Don’t get lost!”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Gideon dashed off again, and Bae chuckled as he watched him disappear around a bouncy castle.

“He’s a good kid, Papa. You and Belle outdid yourselves with him.”

“Thank you, Bae. She said to tell you hello.”

“Hello back to her.” With a jerk of his head in the direction Gideon had disappeared, Bae started walking. Rumple fell in beside him, staying silent for a moment because he didn’t know what to say first.

“Son…how are you here? I know we’re in Gideon’s dream, but…how is it you’re visiting from the afterlife?”

Bae shrugged. “What are dreams, but the in-between space between worlds? That said, I’m not sure really. I’ve never heard of anyone else from the afterlife being able to…interact with their loved ones in their dreams, like I do with Gideon.”

“It may be him. He may have…certain abilities when it comes to dreams.”

“Ahh. He inherited your magic?”

“We think so, yes. Though he hasn’t cast any spells this time around. We only just realized today that he must have retained this dream ability from his previous life.”

“You’re gonna have to explain that one, Pops.”

As briefly as he could, he relayed the traumatic history of Gideon’s birth and his first twenty-eight years, before he was restored to them as an infant.

“That helps to explain some odd comments he’s made. One day he said something about waking Belle with a kiss, before he was born, and I couldn’t figure that one out.” They both laughed before Bae continued. “You said you just realized he can still do this, so that’s why you haven’t come with him before?”

“Yes, of course. Bae, you must know that I would take any opportunity to see you again.”

“Can you come with him again, in his dreams?” he asked hopefully.

“I wish I could, but it’s not that easy. I used magical sands to help me enter the dream realm with him, but I only have a small amount of it left. When it runs out, I’m afraid I don’t have another way to get here.”

“That’s… too bad,” Bae answered. The change in his voice told Rumple how hopeful he’d been that there would be other visits. “Still, my little brother should still be able to visit me here, right? It’s been great getting to know him, although I have to admit it was a shock the first time.”

“How did the two of you even make contact?”

Bae laughed, his eyes crinkling. “I heard him say my name one day. Actually, he was listing off a  _lot_  of names. I think he was trying to figure out his family tree.”

“Poor kid.”

“Yeah. But I heard my name. Not Neal, but Baelfire, which isn’t exactly a common name. I got curious and went to check it out. When I found him, he was playing with a model replica of Storybrooke, with figurines of everyone in town. I knew who he was, even before he told me his parents’ names. I always figured you and Belle would have kids of your own one day.”

“You did? And… you didn’t mind the idea?” Rumple asked, nervous of his answer but unable to keep himself from asking.

“Mind?” Bae stopped walking. “Why would I mind?”

“Maybe because of all the mistakes I made with you? All the years you were on your own when you should have had the security of family? I’m not going to lie, son… I’m so happy to get a second chance at being a father, and I’m loving every minute of Gideon’s childhood. But there’s a part of me that constantly feels guilty, like the happiness now is a betrayal of your memory.”

“Papa… don’t. Just, don’t do that to yourself, or to Gideon. If you want to honor my memory, do it by being the best father to him, that you can possibly be.” Bae looked in the direction Gideon had run. “Don’t waste time on regrets, Papa. I don’t want that for you, or the people who love you.”

Rumple shook his head, astounded by his son’s easy forgiveness.

“How can you not be angry? About your childhood, your death, everything you’ve missed since dying?”

“Well… being dead gives one a unique perspective,” he said with a chuckle, before getting serious again. "Papa, I forgave you for the things that happened when I was a child, even before I died. I want you to know that. And even if I hadn’t, well… there’s just no point to holding a grudge. Not here.”

“I’m happy, that you’ve found some peace.”

They continued walking, entering a wooded area. It occurred to Rumple to wonder how they could go from a children’s fun land to a forest, and they were apparently on their way to a rock-climbing location… but he dismissed the thought. They were inside a five-year-old’s dream; he shouldn’t expect logic.

“Papa?”

“Hmm?”

“How’s Henry doing?”

“He’s great. He’s nineteen now, and just went back to university for the fall semester. He’s pursuing a degree in creative writing, I believe.”

“Good for him. Was he… okay after I died?”

“Okay? No. He mourned you, Bae.”

“Well, yeah. I hope he would miss me at least a little. But he handled it okay? I mean, considering?”

“Yes… considering. He has a good support system. Both his mothers love him dearly. And he had Emma’s parents as well, with their endless optimism.”

“And you?”

Rumple hesitated. “To be honest, we haven’t spent a lot of time together. It was painful for me to spend time with him. He reminded me too much of you. And I think for him, he never stopped seeing me as the forbidding Mr. Gold from the curse.”

“That’s not what I saw, what little time I was around him. He looked to me like he wanted family. I think he would have enjoyed having his Grandpa Gold in his life.”

“You’re right. It was mostly cowardice on my part, Bae. I’m sorry. The next time Henry comes home for a visit, I’ll be sure to spend time with him.”

“Tell him that I miss him, and I love him.”

“I will. Or…” A possibility occurred to him, that he should have thought of before. “Maybe there’s a way for you to tell him yourself. I have enough of the sands for one more journey into the dream realm. Would you… like to talk to Henry here?”

“I would love that, Papa. But if you only have one dose left, that means you couldn’t come back again.”

“This was never going to be a situation where I could visit you here as often as I want. I knew I only had enough of the sands for two visits, at the most. And it wouldn’t be fair to Gideon, to continue to use him in that way.”

“Right. I guess… I let myself hope that I might be able to see you again, as much as we wanted. But you’re right. My little brother deserves to keep his dreams to himself. Especially in about ten years… no telling what we might see in here.”

Rumple shuddered. “Don’t remind me. I want to enjoy these early years, for as long as I can.”

“Speaking of the little rascal, we’re here.”

“Papa! You hafta watch!”

Gideon dropped the block of chalk he’d been coating his hands with into a bucket, before turning to the wall to find his first handholds. He climbed with amazing speed, and was several feet above Rumple’s head in no time.

“We may as well sit,” Bae said beside him. “Once he gets on that wall, he stays there a while. He doesn’t seem to need anything from me, but to watch and shout praise once in a while.”

Rumple sat next to Bae on the grass and leaned back on his hands, so he could see Gideon climbing.

“This is not what I would have guessed Gideon does in his dreams.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the half of it. Kid’s got a wild imagination. If you want a different location, just tell him and he’ll dream it up for you… at least, you’ll get a five-year-old’s interpretation of what you asked for.” Bae laughed out loud before confessing, “I asked him for a strip club once, just to see what he’d conjure.”

“You didn’t!” Rumple was horrified. “How could you, Bae?”

“Papa, it’s fine. You’ll be happy to know that he has no idea what a strip club is.”

“So… what does  _he_  think it is?”

“A place where people sit around and tear paper into strips.” Rumple couldn’t help snorting at that image. “Yeah. There were lots of art and craft supplies there. A few gallons of non-toxic glue later, we’d made the world’s biggest collage.”

Rumple chuckled again at the mental image, looking up at Gideon who seemed intent on climbing into the very clouds, then at the man next to him. His sons were so much alike, with their dark soulful eyes, their capacity to love deeply, their fierce loyalty and gentle souls. Bae looked up at Gideon, the pride of an older brother clear on his face, and Rumple wanted more than anything else to freeze this moment, to stay in this dream forever with his boys.

If only he could have Belle here as well, he’d move heaven and Earth to stay…. but Belle was back in Storybrooke, in the real world, watching over Gideon and himself while they slept. She expected them to wake up and rejoin her in their happy life – a life that didn’t, and could never, include Bae.

“You okay, Papa?”

Rumple blinked, only realizing when he did that he was crying.

“Papa?” Bae asked again. “What’s wrong?”

“I never thought I’d see my boys play together. I never thought the two of you would meet. This… this place, and this experience… it’s nearly perfect.”

“Except that it can’t last.” Bae nodded his understanding.

“Yes.” Rumple wiped his face with his pajama sleeve. “I know it will end soon, and I can’t bear that thought.”

“So let’s make the most of it, hmm?” Bae gave him a shoulder bump. “Was there anything you always wanted to do with both of us? The rugrat up there could wake up anytime, and then this all disappears.”

Rumple gave a helpless shrug, at a loss for how to answer that question. “Bae, I could watch you fly Gideon over your head for as long as this dream lasts, and not tire of it. I just want to see my boys together, and happy.”

“All right then,” Bae said, slapping his hands on his knees and standing up. “Let’s make some memories.” He cupped his hands around his mouth, calling up to Gideon, now little more than an ant crawling on the mountain. “Hey, Gid! Come on down so we can play!”

Rumple stood, heart lodging in his throat when Gideon threw himself off the mountain, free-falling toward them. Bae seemed undisturbed by the kamikaze kid rapidly approaching, only holding up his arms at the last moment for the small body to fall into them, before lowering him to stand on his own two feet.

“Son… you know you can’t do that in the real world, right?” he asked him.

The small boy gave him a look, the kind that said the adults in his life were being foolish. “I know, Papa. I go splat and die.”

“Gid… Papa wants to play with us,” Bae told him. “What kind of game do you think we should play?”

“Hide-and-seek tag!” Gideon crowed triumphantly. “Papa says he can keep up!”

“Ahh… I said I would try my best,” Rumple reminded him.

“Okay, so try. Tag, you’re it!” Gideon’s hand darted out to tap Rumple on the leg, before he ran away laughing.

Bae backed away with a grin on his face. “Good luck finding that little monster, when his imagination controls the environment. You’re better off trying to catch me.”

With no further warning, he bolted, following Gideon into a thick forest full of caves, and fallen trees, and all sorts of places for mischievous little boys (and some not so little) to hide. Rumple quickly figured out that it was pointless to actively search for either of them. His goal was better served by standing still and listening, waiting patiently for Gideon’s giddy enthusiasm to betray his location. Once he’d captured the master of this dream world, finding Bae with his help took no time at all.

Gideon was ready for another round, but Rumple asked him gently if they could play a different game. He’d spent too long searching for Bae across the realms and centuries, to waste this opportunity searching for him again, even if it was just a game. He wanted to keep both his sons close, to see them and talk to them, and watch them interact. He had no idea how much time they had left, but it would never be enough.

They spent an unknown amount of time fishing in a stream, Rumple and Bae letting their lures float lazily on the water’s surface as they talked. Gideon sometimes stayed beside them, taking part in their conversation or glaring at his line indignant that it hadn’t produced a fish yet, or sometimes wandering away to skip stones across the water or scamper back and forth along a fallen long that spanned the stream.

Rumple had a chance to talk, really talk, with his firstborn son in a way that he hadn’t since before he’d become the Dark One, all those centuries ago. They reminisced about the good times – and there  _had_  been good times, despite the wretched poverty of Bae’s youth. They talked about Henry, with Rumple relaying every story he could think of from the boy’s life since Bae had left the mortal plane. He assured him that Emma was doing well and was happy. Rumple confessed, with difficulty, what had happened with Milah in the Underworld, and was shocked when Bae already knew.

“The dead have a lot of free time, Papa. Gossip travels fast in the afterlife. I know that… you did what you had to do, to protect Belle and the others. If you hadn’t…. that little rascal might not be here.”

Rumple followed his gaze to Gideon, balancing on one leg at the midpoint of that fallen tree, and knew that Bae was right. He’d have done so much worse to protect Belle in the Underworld, along with the precious cargo she’d carried.

“I’d do anything for him,” he murmured, not even flinching as Gideon jumped on the tree and nearly lost his footing. “Just as I’d have done anything for you, to keep you safe and happy. It just… nothing I ever did was enough, and I’m so sorry I didn’t do better by you, Bae.” He choked up as he finished, blinking tears from his eyes.

“Hey, Papa…. none of that.” Bae dropped his fishing pole and scooted over to sling an arm around his shoulders. “Do you think I don’t know how hard you tried? You were dealt an impossible hand, and you played it as best you could. You protected me from the Ogres War, and spent centuries looking for me… what further proof could I need, of how much you loved me?”

“I still do, son.”

“I know, Papa. I love you too. Even after death.”

He squeezed him close once, before dropping his arm. They sat for a while, sides touching, saying nothing while Gideon continued his acrobatics several feet above the stream.

“Hear that?” Bae asked, his voice soft.

Rumple didn’t know what he meant at first, but then he heard it. Debussy’s Clair de Lune, playing in the distance.

“He’s waking up, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. ‘Fraid so.”

“I’m not ready.” He grabbed Bae’s hand, as if he could stay with him if he just held on tight enough.

“I know, but we can’t control it. Hey, Gid!” he called. “You and Papa are going to be leaving soon, how about a hug before you go?”

Gideon ran fearlessly down the length of the tree and along the riverbank to them, launching himself at Bae who scooped him up and held him on his hip before holding his other arm out to his father. Rumple stepped into Bae’s embrace, feeling Gideon’s arm wrap around his neck as well. He folded them into his arms, both his precious boys, together with him for the first and last time.

The music was growing louder; Rumple raised his head to kiss Bae on the cheek and whispered, “I love you, Bae,” and heard his answering, “Love you too, Papa… forever,” before his firstborn son began to fade away. Rumple transferred Gideon’s weight to his own hip without even thinking about it, eyes fixed on Bae, trying so hard to not even blink, to see him till the last possible second…. then he was gone. The environment shimmered, fading away as well, till he was left holding Gideon in a surreal landscape of unrelieved white. Rumple turned in a full circle, but there was nothing but a white blankness all around them.

“You hafta close your eyes, Papa,” Gideon told him. “Close your eyes and when you open them again, you’ll be awake.”

He nodded, accepting that Gideon was the authority here, and closed his eyes, feeling tears trail down his cheeks as he did it. Small arms wrapped around his neck, he held his boy closer… there was a disorienting feeling of moving through space with no effort on his part, then he felt a pillow under his head.

“Don’t cry, Papa. It’s okay, really. We’re back.”

He opened his eyes to see Gideon’s concerned face just inches from his own, lying close in his tiny bed in their home in Storybrooke. Back in the real world. He held one precious child in his arms, but the other was lost to him yet again, and Rumple fought to contain his tears. He didn’t want to frighten Gideon. Small hands patted his face, then he felt Belle’s arms encircle him from behind.

“Rumple? Did you see Bae?” she asked, as she somehow managed to wedge herself into the bed with them, molding herself to his back and holding him close.

“Yes. And it was… the most surreal place I’ve ever seen, being in Gideon’s dream. But it was so real.  _Bae_  was real. It was really him. And it was… Belle, it was so hard to say goodbye again.”

“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry, but I’m here for you.” A kiss landed on the back of his neck.

“I’m here too, Papa,” Gideon said in a small voice, and Rumple kissed his forehead.

“Yes, you are. You’re both here.” He swallowed down more tears; there would be a time later, to break down in private or with Belle there to hold him. He could unload his grief on her, because she was strong enough to withstand it. He knew he could lean on her, but it wasn’t fair to burden Gideon with his sadness. “Thank you, Gideon, for taking me with you. That was a rare and priceless gift you gave me. Thank you.”

Deep brown eyes studied him, those eyes shared by himself and his firstborn son. Gideon seemed to be trying to figure out what to say, but in the end, only answered, “You’re welcome, Papa.” Then he yawned, and Rumple realized it was still dark outside. Only the nightlight provided a small amount of illumination.

“What time is it?” he asked, half turning to ask Belle over his shoulder.

“About 4:00 AM,” she answered, dropping another kiss on his neck – the closest she could get to his mouth in their cramped position. “We should go back to sleep.”

He hummed in agreement, and turned back toward Gideon, settling him more comfortably in the cradle of his arms. Belle slipped a hand under his shirt and let it rest on his abdomen, the skin-to-skin contact helping to ground him to the here and now. Held on both sides by his family, he closed his eyes. As he slipped toward sleep again, he sent a final goodbye out to Bae, hoping he was close enough to the dream world for his son to feel it.

**Author's Note:**

> "Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure.  
> And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven." 
> 
> Tears in Heaven, by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings


End file.
